Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Real World: Key West blows

Hello SDD readers! :waves:

My screenname says "TBN", but please call me Tram (I have since gotten over how fug my name sounds... yay for moi!). I have lived to regret the bland initials I initially registered under.

Anyhoo, I'm the only girl in the SDD staff, and I hope to enlighten you with my uniquely feminine take on pop culture and celebrity gossip, er, commentary. You can my read thoughts on politics and film elsewhere (here and here).


Two nights ago, when the Real World: Key West season finale aired, and like the entire season, the one-hour special felt like an overextended letdown. The finale was uneventful, just as uneventful as the episodes that unraveled throughout the season.

Unlike the most entertaining Real Worlds, this season did not feature any juicy hook-ups, backstabbing, or catfights, which is the main purpose of this reality show (why else tie up seven or eight entirely different people and round them up in a big cage?). Can you believe that not even a single castmember hooked up with one another?! It's especially sad, considering that the first episode had so much promise, so much sexual tension (did YOU not see how John and Zach looked at Svetlana on their first meeting? *sigh*).

The hook-ups that did arise were forgettable, at best. Does anyone remember Jose's little peck on the cheek with a girl he met at a party? No? Yup, didn't think so. Or when the otherwise diplomatic Zach dumped a townie after she mentioned the "C" word (commitment)? Fratboyish John (who is actually a pretty nice guy, despite meathead demeanor) got lucky on their Spain trip (was she a hooker?). And social outcasts Paula and Svetlana spent most of their time arguing with respective boyfriends, Keith and Martin, on the phone.

As far as catfights went, none of the girls had anything on Tyler, in terms cattiness. So okay, maybe the creators edited the shit outta all his scenes and wanted to play him up as a villian (this is a "reality" show, afterall). But Tyler reeks of cattiness. Nevermind his claims that the producers liked Svetlana's sexy looks and wanted to paint her as his victim.

Instead, I say, we judge Tyler on how he acts on a day-to-day basis, Svet or no Svet. The dude puts himself on a pedestal and feels inclined to assert his superiority to us mere. Was anyone as I tired as I was about his "omg, I attended Tufts, supposedly one of the most prestigous colleges out there, and thus, earned my pretensions" crap? Or his whole "I like a challenge" speech (ugh, like I wish he didn't have that car accident, so he wouldn't go telling people about his missed Olympic chances), as if it was important that the world know that he wasn't a couch potato who scratched his butt in his spare time. Tyler went over the line. He went over the line when he kept on calling Svetlana a "bitch" and "slut" (you would think that as a gay guy, he would be more sensitive to such matters). He went over the line when he gave Svetlana a nice peek-a-boo during her call to her mom. He went over the line when he ditched Jose at the gym. Ugh.

I usually enjoy cat fights. But it was excruciating to see Tyler (and sometime sidekick Janelle) tackle on anyone. If Tyler was half as witty as he thought he is, then yeah, maybe it would have been entertaining. Unfortunately, Tyler's snarky remarks entered the realm of the sadistic - as opposed to blissful irrelevance.

Between Tyler's cattiness, Paula's eating (and mental?) disorder, Svetlana's little Princess syndrome, and the summer season hurricanes, there wasn't much guity pleasure content left, I'm afraid to say. Ironically, the most exciting thing that happened in the context of Real World: Key West, happened after the cameras had stopped rolling:


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