Monday, February 26, 2007

Oscar Hoss Elections

Due to time conflicts, SDD was not able to live blog the Oscars last night. 'Tis a pity because there was so much snark material provided during the telecast.

As a poor man's replacement, however, I have decided to construct a segment which I'd like to call: Post-Oscar Hoss Elections. Hollywood, as the cliche goes, is one big high school auditorium, and the Academy Awards is Hollywood's prom night. This hoss election was just inevitable.

Best Red Carpet Comeback - Sally Kirkland

For some reason or another, Sally Kirkland did not make red carpet appearances the last two years. Although there were the Bai Lings, ambitiously making their own mark in the red carpet circuit, the void could not be denied - for a veteran, once alive and proud was missing in action. One can only imagine my utmost surprise when Sally made it to this year's Oscar. Draped in what appears to be a multi-colored cape (red, orange, and baby blue), Sally appears more than ready to return to her throne as everyone's fun 'n' flamboyant D-Lister.

Most Cinematically Compatible Outfit - George Miller

Maybe it's just my gender bias talkin', but men's formal attire during these award shows are, quite frankly, very boring: suits, bows, and ties - there's all there is to it. The Oscar-winning director of Happy Feet not only challenged that conventional wisdom, he showed the world that one can be monochromatic AND creative at the same time with his penguin looking-suit.

Best Odd Couple - Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio

Sure, the segment with Al Gore and Leo was a little circle-jerky, especially the acknowledgment of the Oscars going "green" for the first time this year (what did they mean by that?). But this is the Oscars for godssake - self-congratulation is the mandate, not the alternative! Now I know that Big Al has Tipper and Chubby (but cute) Leo has - um, what's the next hot model on the catwalk ? - but I don't think any observant viewer can ignore the chemistry the two had going on. Look at that pic closely. Examine their body language. Notice how Leo's elbow is slightly nudging near Big Al's wrist.

Best Arm Candy - Peter Sarsgaard

Beloved Indie "It" Girl Maggie Gyllenhaal is fastly becoming one of Hollywood's own ingenues. If the Academy's annointment of Maggie as this year's Technical Oscars host wasn't a sufficient hot-off-the-steam warning (last year's hot thang was Rachel McAdams), her highly rumored casting coup as Katie Holmes' replacement in the next Batman should more than suffice. But nevermind Maggie's burgeoning career or her fabulous Hollywood background (hey, nepotism is reality in Tinseltown!), I am immensely jealous of her for nabbing the provocatively ugly/sexy Peter Sarsgaard.

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