Wednesday, April 25, 2007

"This may be the most important call you ever make." - American Idol

I made the most important phone call ever tonight ... fifteen times. Basically, I wanted to hit NewsCorp up for a buck-fifty in order to feed the poor starving children of the world.

It's very difficult for me to not be extremely snarky about the "Idol Gives Back" project, as it's doing a very good thing ... so I'll save that for our live-blogging of the two-hour-celebrity-whorefest of tomorrow night. Joy!

Tonight's episode featured inspirational songs as sung by American Idol constestants. Sound familiar? See this review. That said, this round was quite an improvement over last time, with almost everyone proving that they kind of, vaguely, sort of, deserve to be there.

1. Chris Richardson - "Change the World": Still reviewing Richardson under protest, as I find him to be a complete ass. Tonight I was hopeful as his opening verse was not as nasally as usual, but again, he completely lost it in the chorus and began singing through his sinuses, runs and all. Lord, I'm tired of this. That and he completely misinterpreted the song. Moron. On top of that, the judges were enthralled with him tonight. But really, they weren't, as at one point, they said his performance tonight was like the first time they saw him, they saw potential. So, we're down to the top six and you're excited because someone is showing POTENTIAL. No. You're all dumb. And fired. Next.

2. Melinda Doolittle - "There Will Come a Day": At this point, I can't see a way that Doolittle does not make the top three. Of course, the reviled DialIdol has her in the bottom two currently, so, maybe I'm completely idiotic. However, tonight, Doolittle was impeccable as usual. She is such a complete performer that it's quite difficult to review her week after week. Also: if she goes this week, I'll not review Idol again.

3. Blake Lewis - "Imagine": Evidently, the judges and I want completely different things from Blake. Tonight, I thought he picked a great song and sang it the way the song is supposed to be sung. Lewis' performance was infused with emotion, not overwrought and not over-orchestrated. He's learned from his mistakes of remaking the classics and proved that when he needs to "just sing" he can do it. The judges were too harsh on him, and I hope he doesn't pay the ultimate price for it.

4. LaKisha Jones - "I Believe": Remember this and this? Yeah. I'm back to not feelin' the LaKisha love, either. Just because you sing songs by past Idol winners does not make you a shoo-in. Far from it, dear. Jones has failed the song-picking portion of our competition and has been reduced week after week to someone who just comes across as extremely shouty. No one likes a shouter, LaKisha. Just ask my husband. (But I like shouters! -- ed.)

5. Phil Stacey - "The Change": As my husband and I were listening to this song, it took FOREVER to remember which Garth Brooks song it was. Mostly because we didn't remember it ever being so Michael Bolton-y before. That said, Michael Bolton has a lot of fans out there (no really: SEE?!) and maybe this is a way for Phil to break through. Although, probably not. I agree with the judges, as it seems far more likely that Stacey could really break out in the country genre, as they apparently own this show. See: Stacey's continued presence. (for those of you missing my Yellow Kid madness: #1: Yeah, that never really took off ... and #2: I kinda blew my photo load a few weeks back when I was sure he was going to be eliminated. Huh. Who knew?)

6. Jordin Sparks - "You'll Never Walk Alone": This may have been one of the most hyped AI performances ever (considering the show is purportedly live) and I've heard a lot of backlash about it. And while I haven't watched enough of the show to know whether it was one of the finest vocals ever, I do believe it was one of the finest of the season. The problem with this song is the problem with so many songs chosen on this show. To do nearly anything that builds, it's so very abbreviated with only 90 seconds to work with. With that said, Sparks should be applauded, in that it didn't turn into a shoutfest (see: LaKisha) and came of as more of brilliant preview to the actual song. *sighs* Though considering the original version of said song came in a scene on stage that's eight minutes long, that's pretty much the best you can do.

So there you have it. Another summary of AMERICA'S FAVORITE NIGHT OF TELEVISION.

I hope you're all happy.

Tonight's winner: Jordin Sparks (suck it, haters)
Tonight's loser: Chris Richardson
Tomorrow's loser: Chris Richardson*

*Let's keep the streak alive, America.

We'll be back tomorrow night for your live-blogging pleasure.

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