Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The casts of CBS' new shows attempt to amuse us

Todd, Libby and David take on CBS' photos and clips. And CBS was nice enough to let us embed them too, though you can go here as well. Though it MUST be said that CBS' photos were rather weak AND that they didn't have a photo for Swingtown or a video for Viva Laughlin!

The Big Bang Theory:




Todd: OK. . .let's see. What's hot this year? Nerds? Definitely nerds. And breasts? Breasts are always hot!

Libby: Aw, it's "Two Guys, a Girl and a Theorem!"

(You can watch the trailer, like David and I just did, here.)

Todd: Urge to kill rising. . .

David: They should lose all the nerds, and just focus the show on Kaley Cuoco's chest. It'll be the next Ghost Whisperer!

Cane:



Todd: Handsome. Athletic. Rugged. Make her love you. JIMMY SMITS. A new fragrance for men.

Libby: The name's Cane. CANDY Cane.

(Ahoy, trailer!)

Todd: I will watch this show when ABC does its version of it in six years.

David: It's the Hispanic Brothers & Sisters, except they murder people instead of sleeping with them!

Kid Nation:



Todd: "Guys! The REAL GOLD STAR is worth $20,000! Think of how much completely useless crap we could buy with that! At the very least, we can keep Claire's Accessories and Spencer's Gifts afloat!"

Libby: I hope that little girl he's pointing to just won "The Lottery." That's pretty much the only way I'd watch this show.

(The children, Clarice. They're screaming.)

Todd: This literally looks like a show that was conceived of by throwing darts at a bunch of random words scattered across a wall. It also looks like CBS answered my prayers for a reality TV Salute Your Shorts/Hey Dude hybrid. Also, this will be a massive, massive hit. American Idol sized. I mean. . .the WHEELCHAIR SPEECH!? I fear for America.

David: Soon, all of Texas will be run on this system.

Special guest-commentor Andy of Everything Oscar: Where is Al Swearengen?

Moonlight:



Todd:
He's rather stoic for a vampire. So at least he's got that goin' for him.

Libby: See, he's a vampire. So he has to be broody. That's what I've learned from this picture.

(Vampires are forever, forever, forever.)

Todd: OH MY GOD. DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM, CUTE BLONDE GIRL! HE'LL TURN EVIL!

David: This is like Angel meets Felicity. He's a vampire PI, but he stands on rooftops looking for love!

Swingtown:

(There was no photo for this. Curse you, CBS!)

(Rick Moody is going to sue you, CBS.)

Todd: *wistful sigh* Ah, those South Dakota summers. . .so carefree. So full of casual sex. I know everyone's saying that CBS really thought out of the box this year, but, honestly, this is the first show that made me wonder how, exactly, IT ended up on CBS.

David: This show is gonna suck without nudity.

Viva Laughlin:



Todd: I hope that every episode of this show is just this guy knocking on doors around Laughlin and proclaiming, "Gotta dance!" whenever anyone opens them. Then he will dance. 60 minutes of that. 50 Emmys. Right there.

Libby: Yeah. He looks like he's about to burst into song.

(For some reason, CBS has yet to post a video for Viva Laughlin, so we can all just imagine how great/awful it will be in our heads.)

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