Wednesday, July 25, 2007

"Its not every day I get drunk with my daughter.":Meadowlands

Previously on Can't you see, people, that this is mysterious?: Zoe played Teen! Dectective!, Danny got tortued and released for committing a murder, and one offhand comment by a peripheral character framed for the same murder will drive the rest of the series.

'Cape Wrath'. That's what Ormond, who was framed for Jack Donnelly's murder by the Meadowlands Secret Agency to protect Danny Brogan, briefly mentioned to Danny as he was being dragged away to Some! Bad! Place! at the end of the last episode. This is actually the title of 'Meadowlands' in the UK, so I figure it must be imoprtant. Danny, however, seems to think that it is extremely important, despite the fact that it is just two words spoken to him with no explanation by a guy he happened to know before he came to the town. So its Falsely! Motivatied! Witchunt! Time!, in which Danny will go around bugging all the secret police, "what is Cape Wrath!?!?"

Danny goes to see Samantha, his 'handler', first, but for once she is not there, and he happens to run into her two minions, who do the worst nonchalant act of all time when he asks them about Cape Wrath. Meanwhile, Samantha has gone to London, so for the first time in the series we get to see something that isn't the Scary Suburbs of Doom. Hooray. She visits a classroom, in which a college professor is teaching, and it turns out to be her father. She bugs him for a piece of paper, which turns out to be test results. He has cancer and is going to die. Because of this, I burst into tears immediately, because I care so much about this character we've seen, well, never, and he is apparently related to this other character who we've seen, well, barely at all, and hasn't been developed in the slightest so far. But there has to be some way to reveal portions of the Overarching Mystery, so I suppose it may as well be her. Apparently her father is a scientist of some kind, who had some breakthrough experiments in the past with memory alteration on a subject referred to only as "Una." Samantha receives a call from her minions, in which they tell her about Danny asking about "Cape Wrath" and she orders them to initiate some kind of plan they have had prepared.

Meanwhile, back in Meadowlands, Danny has several encounters with Freddy, one of the henchmen, who starts attempting to taunt Danny. There are also a couple of really bizarre sequences, which I am sure the creaters thought would be super scary, but are more intentionally funny, where Danny gets assaulted by a fly. That's right people, a human being assaulted by a fly. They even go so far as to show Danny being attacked by the fly from the fly's perspective, so it's time for some crazy shaky camera action! Yawn. Shortly after, and this is never explained, but perhaps the fly was a super secret LSD fly, Danny starts having bizarre hallucinations, outbreaks of anger, and severe headaches. I guess it gives the producers an excuse to show a guy with his hands on fire, a weird jack in the box, and Jack Donnelly back from the dead. Apparently they have performed the plan on Danny, which is some kind of procedure to make him stop asking about Cape Wrath by associating it with his murder of Jack Donnelly, which he doesn't want to remember. However, again, they don't explain this in the slightest, so I guess the Super Secret Meadowlands Agency sent a killer fly to attack Danny. If I was going to assault someone with a hallucinogen, I would probably think of a cooler delivery mechanism than a stupid fly with annoying camera angles.

What else is going on in the mystery town? Well Mark is still sleeping with his much older next door neighbor, except towards the end of the episode she breaks it off with him because she gets threatened by Danny. Zoe gets threatened by Wintersgill the psychotic policeman, who wants his files back. She is catty to him and refuses, until her very best buddy Tom the golfer, after being threatened by the secret police yet again, tells her to give back the files. I also knew exactly when Tom was going to show up, because they showed the Overhead View of the Golf Course of Bareful Portent again. They've really got to cut it with the overhead shots with the creepy sound effects, its gotten very, very old by now. Evelyn continues her encounters with the creepy Yorks, where she thanks Dr. York for not telling Danny that she cheated on him and his children aren't his, then accuses Dr. York of trying to break up her marriage by making prank phone calls to Danny, then goes shopping with Dr. York's wife, then gets yelled at by a quite mean Dr. York for trying to interfere with his marriage. Really boring, time killing stuff, all of it.

Back to Samantha, who we didn't care about until this episode, and actually we still don't, but hey, she gets lots of screen time now. Her father informs her that he is going to kill himself as soon as his pain from the cancer is unbearable. She complains, of course. Now in a good show, I might have actually cared about any of this. Or maybe in a show where this relationship wasn't introduced maybe 20 minutes ago. Then they mysteriously go off to get wasted, after which they take a walk on the Thames river, where Samantha's dad starts stumbling, presumably because he is drunk, but really because he has already poisoned himself back at the restaurant/bar. In a later scene, despite the fact that he was completely incapable of walking and poisoned, they are back in his offices, where Samantha starts going through his files. It turns out that she is the mysterious "Una", her dad's original experiment, and the basis for what is going on in Meadowlands now. It is a community where they experiment with memory control on the inhabitants in an attempt to make them happy. They use people from witness protection because they will be afraid to leave. DUN DUN DUN.

After she figures out that she is an experiment herself, Samantha notices that her 'father' is now dead, apparently while she was going through his files instead of getting him medical attention, and she flippantly makes some mean remark to him while she's talking on the phone to her minions. She returns to Meadowlands, gives Danny some BS story about what is really going on, and threatens him that she will kick his family out of the town if he talks. He returns to his house with an 'I Love Meadowlands' on it, but I'm not sure if they altered his memories or not.

Well, there are only two episodes left now, so I may as well watch the rest, but boy, I was expecting more than a secret government experiment to be the big reveal about the town. I mean, why is everyone So! Weird! Oh well, at least Brotherhood and Dexter are coming up.

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