Monday, July 30, 2007

"We stay at the Marriott. It's pretty cool.": Entourage

Evidently SOME people think that going to Turkey is more important than reviewing their shows. And those people are correct. Just as I am correct in thinking that ANYTHING is more important than reviewing The Closer/Saving Grace. *nods*

Truly, all of our beliefs have been validated today. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that while David is busy gallivanting about the European countryside (unless he somehow makes his way across the Bosphorous, in which case, it's Asia for him! -- ed.) it falls upon me to review the complete travesty that is this season of Entourage.

This episode (as helpfully pointed out in the photo above; thanks a crapload, HBO *rolls eyes*), called The Day Fu*kers, was yet another completely disjointed mishmash of plots and rose to new heights of offensiveness. Before I go any further, let me point out that up until recently, I owned the first two seasons of this show and used to enjoy it immensely. However, the speed and extensiveness of its precipitous drop from quality to catastrophe is matched only by the detritus that is now Rescue Me.

The plot of this episode featured a competition between a Vince-backed Eric and Drama-backed Turtle as to who can get laid before the end of the day. In this universe, being overweight is a huge hindrance to finding an attractive woman and the latter pair must resort to Craig's List for free and desperate women.

Meanwhile, it appears that being 4 foot 3 poses as no problem at all for Eric, and he must merely be within a three foot radius of Vince to be attractive enough to sleep with. Inexplicable. Before passing on an overweight girl (because the fat are ugly, remember) Turtle and Drama decide on a girl played by Shanna Moakler (nice career move, by the way) who turns out to be a Furry.
For those of you unaware of what this means, please follow this link. For my in-laws, please, if you click that link, never mention it to me. Ever. Please.

As for Eric, he and Vince attract a couple of superhot British chicks before they've even been at the club for two minutes. Vince is having sex within moments of arrival, leaving Eric to flounder about until his ex, Sloane, wanders by and he is wrecked. Fascinating.

Meanwhile in a completely different show, Ari attempts to get his child into the private school of his choice, rages against the common and inferior public school system and finally weeps and begs and barters to get his child into the school in a performance that ensures the Emmys will recognize him yet again next year. Joy.

As you can about imagine, everything ends wackily with Eric getting laid and Drama engaging in Furry sex, and it's all just peachy, except for this: Entourage again, competes with only Rescue Me for how much it loathes women.

The women on this show are all shrill and shallow, not to mention, not really characters at all. As much as I enjoy Ari's wife, she's reduced to whining into the phone at Ari to fix their already perfect life in episode after episode, while Debi Mazar (on unending maternity leave) has disappeared completely. Those females featured in the show from episode to episode are merely whores, empty vessels waiting to be filled by, well, you know.

To that end, if Rescue Me is misery porn, then Entourage is porn porn. Rather, Entourage is all about fantasy fulfillment, which is fine to a certain end, but like porn (or so I'm told) it's empty and meaningless.

If there's no question that Vince is going to get his way or that Ari will still be around or that everything will end up O!K! then what's the point? Easy. There isn't one. But again, while that's fine for some, for viewers like myself it's just not enough anymore. It's time to find a new crowd.


Bianca Reagan said...

I didn't even notice the women-loathing this week. As I think about it now, it was probably because I was waiting for an actual story to start, not just the same "Eric needs some no-strings poontang" thread that I thought we got rid of in Season 1. And Season 2. And Season "3." Does Vince actually work anymore? How do E and Turtle have money to buy gas for those expensive cars, if E maxed out his AMEX black card for Medellin and Turtle bought that sweaty Sandy Koufax jersey?

Off topic, can you all write about Making the Band 4? That show is growing on me like a hip-hop jello mold.

Carrie said...

My favorite part of this episode? The previews for next week where Eric tries to get an ad in the trades announcing his company, and the lady says "You don't represent Vincent Chase. Ari Gold represents Vincent Chase." Ha! Take that, E. Also: I hate you.

Also, what happened to Turtle's cute girlfriend?

This show sucks.

For Your Speculation said...

Valid points and I agree that this season is just going nowhere (the premiere episode still seems to be the best), but the sight of Turtle in the bunny suit had me in stitches.

Todd VanDerWerff said...

Bianca, I don't think any of us watch Making the Band. But if you want to write about it, drop me an e-mail!

Bianca Reagan said...

What did happen to Turtle's girlfriend? Was there any explanation why she disappeared after the Medellin shoot?

Todd, thanks for the offer! I'm touched. I won't be able do it, though, because I should really stop procrastinating and focus on my own work. I also can't even remember to watch the show on the night it airs. I will have to continue being entertained by the many other show recaps on your site. :)

Libby said...

Bianca and Carrie, I too am honked off about the inexplicable disappearance of Turtle's girlfriend. That was honestly the ONE storyline I had even a passing interest in and for them to drop it leaves me little reason to continue watching this. See also: the reason I stopped watching Rescue Me (because honestly, what's the point?)

As for the woman hating, I may be reading too much into it or it just may be that I'm not this show's target audience. *shrugs* Either way ...