Thursday, September 13, 2007

"I have to put up with an overgrown twelve year old for another week.":Big Brother

Well, we are almost at the end of yet another season of Big Brother; and much like in each of the past five seasons, I am so disgugusted with the contestants left that I can hardly stand watching anymore. Except this time it is much, much worse. There is something about this show that guarantees that in almost all cases the best contestants go out midway through the game, occasionally a good one (Dr. Will, both times; Danielle, her first time on) do well but that is not the norm.

And this is certainly a normal season in that regard. Anyway, on to things, and there were certainly a lot of things this week. Almost twenty-five percent of Sunday's episode was spent on recapping what had already taken place on Thursday's episode. They also use some diary room sessions which are clearly past tense which irritates me a little bit; like ones from Eric for example. I don't really care about what that little dweeb has to say at this point anyway; he's gone. But a very quick recap for you: Jessica was evicted; Dick won HOH, Eric was evicted. And the unthinkable has happened; now that Jessica is gone I am rooting for Zach. Zach: the least self-aware reality tv show contestant in probably the history of television; however he is still better than the rest of the people left. After the initial recapping we are on to the HOH, a slightly slightly more complex take on the usually boring HOH question quiz. This one wasn't even performed live, so I would think they could have taken the opportunity to do something a little more interesting. But essentially, fourteen different pictures of competitions were put on the memory wall; the contestants had to memorize the details and then answer mostly numerical questions about them. Like "how many black guitars were found in the picture of the houseguests in competition X." I surely could not remember that. But the contestants actually do pretty well, with Zach and Danielle both only answering one question incorrectly leading to their tiebreaker; in which the answer was 69 and Zach answered only *one* more than Danielle, 59 to 58. Personally if I would have gotten to see this before I had to hear her whine about it on the feeds later I would have thought it was awesomely hilarious.

Before I proceed onto the nominations I wll explain something about the rules of Big Brother for those of you who don't know; I am sure you do but considering that not one of the four contestants who is actually on the show realized it there is always the chance. Nominations before the veto ceremony do not matter. HOH at the final four contestants only provides you with immunity; the real power is in the veto winner, who gets to decide who gets to vote someone out. Zach, who has had a deal of sorts with Dick and Danielle for almost the entire season now, thinks that he now holds the power and must get Dick or Danielle out. Thus he breaks their deal and nominates them both. What he doesn't realize is that all this will accomplish will be to induce Dick to rant at him for the remainder of the season. He should have waited until after the veto because the only way he could have gotten rid of them were if he or Jameka won the veto.

What I dislike even more than Zach's dumb decision was on Tuesday's shows, in the usual post-nomination anger section of the show; Dick and Danielle display the most unbelievable self-entitlement and poor sportmanship. I mean I expect this from reality stars, but if you watched it on the show and even more if you see it on the feeds it is unbelievable at times. Their favorite past time is quizzing each other on different insults about the other houseguests for hours on end (ie "Which Big Brother contestant is going to get fired after the season?" Answer: Jen, "That is correct! Ding!"). After a little bit of this Dick goes off on another purposeless rant on Zach; I am surprised that he doesn't lose his voice because he screams so much.

To my delight, after this it is time for a sequence at the Jury House! Looks like it is in Southern California somewhere, or possibly Mexico,. We see the whole Jury arrive: Dustin, Jen, Amber, Jessica, and finally Eric. However my anticipated look at the jury house is ruined when Jen and Jess each only gets one quote and Dustin talks more than everyone else combined. Shut up Dustin. The one thing that is interesting is that Dustin says that he would like to see Eric or Danielle evicted (before Jessica and Eric come in); so that means we may know where his vote lies.

Back at the house, it is time for the Power of Veto and later a live eviction! So the veto competition is essentially a match the houseguests to two questions game. There are eight questions and 6 houseguests beween each, and when you get a houseguest correctly you can use a wheel to determine one digit of the correct answer to the puzzle; how many seconds have passed by so far in the Big Brother house. I think to myself instantly: no way does Danielle not win this, and I am right! Yet again, tying Janelle for the most veto wins ever in one season. After this there are several minutes of Dick and Daniele celebrating in the most obnoxious and inappropriate manner; the odor of smugness coming out of my television sort of making me feel like vomiting. Danielle uses the veto on herself instead of her dad, giving a fake excuse about payback but I really think it is because she wants to make him vote out Jameka instead of her. In any case, he does. Jameka in this last episode handles herself with a lot of class and I like her a lot more than I used to.
If only you would have had the ability to win something in this game besides that one veto competition a long time ago, Jameka.

The first part of the three-part Head of Household competition is begun at the end of Tuesday's episode and continued to the Thursday episode. It involved standing on a little platform holding up a key above your head, while a Rabbit rotated around at the different contestants feet on a long pole; the contestants had to jump it ever time it passed by or else lose. Danielle states in a diary room that she talked to her dad about how if this competition had anything to do with freezing water she would lose, and because I am sure the producers would never use this information that she said on camera against her what must have been previously planned before she said this happens: freezing water constantly dumped on the contestants! Danielle predictability gets really cold and eventually slips and falls out of the competition. I felt really sorry for her here actually, for once, as she was visibily shaking to the point where it was sort of distubing to watch. So it was Dick versus Zach in a battle of wills; of course Dick screams and taunts him throughout the entire competition. After a while Dick is noticably weak seems like he is going to fall over out of exhaustion. However Danielle gives him words of encouragement until he eventually has to quit. The competition lasted eight hours, and the war hero music the editors give him in the sequence after he has quit sort of makes me want to gag; although I'll give him that I probably couldn't have done that competition for that long. Zach wins part one, hooray.

In the second part of the competition, Dick and Danielle compete in what is basically an athletic puzzle, they have to do a puzzle representative all of the heads of household, taking the pieces from one giant water tank and diving into another to assemble them. Dick absolutely destroys Danielle, halving her time. So it is time for the final competition. However there is another segment at the jury house with Jamea arriving. Every single houseguest is noticaebly displeased that she got kicked out, but noticably happy that Zach nominated Dick and Danielle. So the entire jury doesn't understand how the final four works either, I guess. Once again Dustin dominates all the talking. He must be one of those annoying people who interfere in and take over conversations at parties, I imagine. Onto the final competition; questions about how the jury members would finish sentences. To my great regret, Dick beats Zach by a point, and becomes the new head of household. As is his power, he gets to choose his opponent in the final two; and in what will surprise absolutely nobody he votes out Zach and gives us Big Brother viewers a Donato final two.

What is interesting about this is that since I think for the first tme since the first Big Brother season, which I didn't watch, Eric will indeed continue to be America's player and so one vote will be yours. Do you care who wins, America? Stay tuned for next week as Carrie comes back to recap the Sunday and Tuesday episodes, and potentially the wrap party! Also, next week it is time for more reality as I will be covering Survivor: China.


Rae said...

Though I agree with almost all of your post, I have to say that I don't think Zach's D/D nomination was as dumb as you say. If he had stayed in the house, the jury - who were audibly and visibly tickled pink as they watched the nomination ceremony - would have remembered Zach daring to put up Dick and Daniele. That's why Zach was doing it. It was all about positioning himself for jury votes.

He was hosed either way with Dick or Daniele on the jury (unless Jameka made it to the F2 with him - in which case he was hosed anyway since it's her alliance that controls the jury). So, he had nothing to lose and potential jury respect to gain by putting the Donatos on the block together... and his speech played right into how the jury feels about them. If Zach had made it to the F2, I'm guessing that moment would have been one of his smartest moves.

Justin said...

You're right, and wrong, I think.

It was a great move to get jury votes. But I think it would have been even better to not pump D+D up so much for the POV.

Imagine the jury votes he would have gotten had he won the POV himself somehow and snaked them at the last minute?

Plus I am pretty sure he must not have even realized what he was doing due to his diary room sessions where he talked about he was executing his power, what not. When he had the perfect chance to get rid of a Donato the week before.

This is why I talk of him as the least self-aware player in reality tv show history, among other things.

Eh, I don't know :)

Carrie said...

Great job. I'm so glad you did this because now I don't even have to watch that Thursday episode! I'm going to pretend like it didn't exist! Fun.

I have to disagree with Zach being the least self-aware reality contestant ever. Have you already forgotten Amber? Miss "I'm going to be a model or a motivational speaker"? The one who was convinced America just loved her? Yeah.

Fucking Donatos.