Monday, October 22, 2007

"I hope we can live up to your stereotype.": Desperate Housewives

My question to the Desperate Housewives writers is this: are they TRYING to make their characters so unlikable that viewers can barely tolerate them for the 44 minutes we dutifully allot each week to watch their trials and tribulations? Judging from Susan Meyer's horrific storyline this week, I think the answer is no doubt a resounding yes. (And that Gabby is no princess, either, but I'll get to that soon enough.)

Let's start with Susan. Horrible, annoying, insane Susan. This week new neighbors move in next door to her, and they just happen to be a gay couple moving to the suburbs to escape the evils of the big city. Apparently, Susan lives in 1955 and has never actually visited a big city, because when she meets them she acts like she's never seen a gay person in her life, embarrassing herself completely by sticking her foot in her mouth multiple times. They take an immediate dislike to her (smart guys) and Susan becomes determined to make them like her. After a few other mishaps which only serve to confirm the new neighbors belief that Susan sucks, she lucks into a brilliant plan to win them over: kidnap their dog and curry favor by helping them look for the poor mutt, which she will all along have locked in her garage and will "find" at the most opportune moment. Of course, this all goes horribly wrong when Mike comes home and opens the garage door, letting the dog out and revealing that Susan had it hidden all along. What I don't understand is, are we supposed to find this funny? The whole storyline was absolutely insulting and did nothing except confirm my long-held belief that Susan is an idiot with almost no redeeming qualities. I mean, Mike must be blinded by...something in order to put up with her on a daily basis. I've never been a huge fan of Susan's, but in season one she was slightly goofy, klutzy and charming. Now she's just a ridiculous caricature. The one thing I hope comes out of this storyline is a serious rivalry between the gay couple and Susan, with Susan coming out on the losing end. A lot.

Also coming out on the despicable side of things this week is Gabby (and Carlos too, really). Edie learns why pale should be the new tan when she contracts a wicked case of the crabs from a dirty tanning bed. EW EW EW. She tells Carlos, who then realizes he needs to tell Gabby. Unfortunately, Victor is already showing signs of being infested (EW) and Gabby has to resort to sexual trickery to get him to use the special medicinal shampoo. Gabby and Carlos, thinking they are in the clear, actually get off on the fact they are pulling one over on Edie and Victor in such a bold way. Gross. It looks like this secret isn't going to stay kept much longer, though, because Edie smells the medicinal shampoo on Victor and puts two and two together, with the help of a passed crab cake appetizer to fill in the blanks. This story was slightly more amusing than the Susan debacle, but Gabby and Carlos are not quite a couple you can root for here. After seeing how horrible their relationship went the first time around, are we really supposed to be on their side? Edie and Victor are no innocent victims here, but Gabby and Carlos are becoming so much worse. Gloating that you got away with giving your significant others an STD and didn't get caught? And getting sexually excited over the fact that if you did get caught, you might get murdered? That's just a step too far for me, my friends.

Lynette was kind of unlikeable this week, but she had a funny line where she called herself a "cancer bitch" and eventually apologized, so I am cutting her some slack. Also, she has cancer. I can't even hate a fictional character if they have cancer. I have issues.

Again, the only redeeming housewife this week was Bree. It's strange that although her storyline is the most over the top and stupid, it is still consistently the most watchable part of the episode for me. Marcia Cross owns. This week, her mother-in-law shows up in town and learns that Danielle is actually having the baby. When Bree says she won't be allowed to be in the new baby's life, her mother-in-law secretly goes and takes Danielle from the convent! I have a feeling this one could get very interesting as that due date approaches.

In season-long mystery arc land, Katherine brings her aunt home from the hospital to die. She's dismayed when the aunt decides she doesn't want to go to the grave without telling Dylan the big secret, but Katherine icily stops her every attempt to tell Dylan the news. The aunt does manage to give Dylan the hint that something isn't right, though, and as she dies she hastily writes some sort of confession note which falls to the ground and goes unseen under the bed. Will Dylan find it and learn the secret of her past? Will Dylan ever serve any more purpose on the show than a plot point? I'll guess we'll have to tune in next week to find out, but I highly doubt it.

1 comment:

Rae said...

I completely agree about Susan. I actually turned the channel when the dog ran out of the garage. I worried that they were going to go further than they did. When I saw that paint in there, I feared the dog was going to drink it and she'd end up finding the dog sick on the floor of the garage. At least they weren't thinking as morbidly as me!

Also, the whole crab thing was beyond gross. It's not even that they're all passing them around the neighborhood. It's that they continued to have sex after the fact! Like, really? Ewww. (The "well, you're still having sex with _____" talk didn't help. These two are the most jealous people in the world and they're somehow ok with this situation?) I laughed during this part of the show but I'm just not loving it now that I've had time to think about it.