It's no secret that most of the characters on this show are kind of assholes. As a viewer, it's one of those things you accept and sometimes it even makes you like a character more. For example, I absolutely love the way Bree is an asshole because Marcia Cross plays that wound-up, controlling, less than likable aspect of her character so well. This week, though, we learned that there are people more of an asshole than our usual characters: Lynette's sisters.
Let me explain. This week, Lynette's battle with her supposedly horrible mother took center stage. I say supposedly because aside from a few small instances the writers have barely mentioned Lynette's mother at all, let alone what a horrible person she is. Nevertheless, after her mother brings home a one night stand Lynette insists she has to leave. Unfortunately for Lynette, her mother is broke and can't afford to move out. Thus begins a horrible campaign by Lynette to get one of her sisters to take her mother in. Truly, it's awful, with Lynette going so far as to ditch her mother's bags in her sister's trunk and take off, forcing her sister to take their mother home. Just as my anger for Lynette's asshole behavior came to a head, though, the writers threw Felicity Huffman a bone by revealing that, while she wants her mother out of there, her sisters don't even care about their mother at all and don't even really love her. Lynette, absolutely ruined by this revelation, kicks them out and says she will take her mother back in. Mom, having heard all what her daughters had to say about her, has other plans and takes off in a taxi, much to Lynette's dismay.
Gabby spent the episode pretending to still like her husband and then maybe sort of accidentally killing him when she discovers that he knows about her affair. In his defense, she thought he was going to kill her first. Honestly, what the hell kind of world does Gabby live in that, when she learns of her husband's knowledge of her affair, the first place her mind goes is straight to "he's going to murder me and hide my body?" Gabby needs some therapy. Carlos comes to help her find him, and they do...but they immediately maybe sort of accidentally kill him for real. Their story ends with them hiding the evidence of their maybe murder. I'm sure two lovers will never be implicated in the murder of one of their significant others! I would be worried if I thought Victor was dead (which he's so not) or if I cared at all about Gabby and Victor's fate.
For once, Susan got a serious and potentially good storyline with the discovery of Mike's growing pain medication addiction. Susan's "comedy" routine storylines were always the least interesting thing this show did, but Teri Hatcher is a decent dramatic actress so this is definitely a step in the right direction. In the end, Mike pours his pills down the kitchen drain and promises to give them up, and naive Susan believes him. She really should have hit the garbage disposal switch, though, because Mike the plumber uses his technical skills to retrieve the pills in the middle of the night while Susan is sleeping.
Bree got the humor storyline this week when she learned Orson didn't want their son Benjamin circumcised, which lead to numerous shenanigans and eventually took her to another baby's briss, where she conned the Rabbi into performing one on little Ben as well as the original guest of honor. Although what Bree did was pretty horrible, it led to a great scene where Orson accuses her of not viewing him as Ben's father, and her agreeing and promising to do better. Kyle MacLachlan really hasn't gotten enough to do on this season, but that scene was wonderful.
Once again, Dylan confronted her mother about her father, this time because of a genealogy project she is assigned in school. I'm pretty sure that in the history of television, no school assignment has ever been used as much as the good old "genealogy project" as a plot device. I'd like to see some research on that, actually. Catherine once again lies to Dylan (this time complete with fake crying and abuse victim guilt trips!) in order to throw her off track. Again. Some more. There is definitely merit to a slow burning storyline, but the danger here is having it become so protracted that we simply don't care about the eventual resolution. I'm already pretty much at that point.
Is Victor alive or dead? Will Susan discover Mike's betrayal? What really happened to Dylan's father, and why the hell is it taking so long for them to reveal it? Will we learn any of this before the episodes run out because of the writer's strike?
I'm going with...no.