What better way to capture the suspense of the elimination show than with a running diary! Two gals and two guys got voted off last night, and here’s how it went down:
8:01 Seacrest introduces the show, saying “live and right now…this…is…American Idol!” Live and right now? I wish I could get away with redundancies like that, I really wish I could.
8:06 Here’s the awkward produced segment of the Top 24 photoshoot. The Idols are dealing with a fictionalized paparazzi scenario, walking the red carpet, exiting limos, and hey, Amy Davis waves to the cameras…was that foreshadowing? We’ll see.
8:10 The Top 24 sing. Robbie Carrico and Jason Dreads look out of their element in their suits. The girls actually sound good as a group. Crazy Hair Overmyer and Brian Cook belt out “power makes me feel good.” YEAH!! That’s the first time I felt the tingle this season. Nicely done, Cook.
8:16 The guys results are up first.
8:17 Whoa, after casually calling him to stage to seemingly just chat, Seacrest just blindsided Garrett Haley with the axe.
8:19 Garrett sings his exit song: this is why you got voted off, bub. Here’s what sucks about the whole sing-the-song-you-sang-the-last-night-for-your-exit-song strategy: if it sucked enough to get them voted off, should the audience really have to endure it twice? “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.” Not really, Garrett. No regrets here over this breakup. You’re Toots McGee, bro.
8:23 The T-Mobile commercial where the guy leaves repeated messages for a girl he likes. Would have been funnier if Jon Favreau hadn’t written it 12 years earlier.
8:28 Amy Davis gets the boot. Learn. I called it.
8:29 Not a chance in hell she can get through her song. I’m expecting “crash and burn.” Is that her mother and sister on the balcony? Holy shit, is she black? Adopted or bi-racial, I wonder? I really can’t tell. Eh, no matter, because Amy, you’re the creep of the week.
8:35 Commercials. Fox pushes The Return of Jezebel James. Is Parker Posey polarizing or what? She’s a love or hate kinda gal. I can’t think of her and not think of the scene in Dazed and Confused when she demands that the freshmen "fry like bacon."
8:36 We’re back and we’re debuting Paula’s new video. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for this. Did Spencer Pratt direct this video? This sucks. I love Randy playing the bass at all Paula’s side. He looks completely unnatural.
8:40 Simon says that “(Paula) represents every color in the universe.”
8:45 Joanne and Crazy Hair Overmyer are called to the stage, and those sitting are safe. Drumroll…and Crazy Hair is in.
8:46 Joanne could have been canned for what she wearing. What is that, a mu’umu’u?
8:47 Ramiele cries her eyes out. And looks hideous doing so.
8:48 Group shot of girls. Everyone is crying.
8:53 Chikezie and Colton are called to the stage…and I can’t believe Chikezie survived. Hilarious shot of him sitting back down, letting out a sigh of relief. He can’t believe it either. Thanks for coming, Colton, ‘ppreciate the effort.
8:57 The goodbye montage, capped off with Joanne declaring “I just wanna touch people, honestly.” She sounds like a pederass.
8:58 The girls still crying. Someone get them some tissues, please. Danny Noriega cries as well, making me think there’s a chance he and Colton got intimate.
8:59 Here we go again, Colton looks nothing like his parents.
And with that, I wrap up the first elimination show running diary. We’re back to the guys on Tuesday. Tune in.