A few years ago, I used to really look forward to American Idol. As I’ve written before, I joined in the hoopla during Carrie Underwood’s run to the crown, and was thoroughly impressed with the overall talent level. American Idol was the embodiment of the American dream: life, liberty, and the pursuit of Simon Cowell’s affection. Now, another week has passed, four more crap-ass contestants are gone, and the show is still touting the remaining contestants as the ‘most talented ever.’ It’s really starting to piss me off. Fox already lured me with it in the off season, but now that I’ve heard everyone sing it’s really just a kick in the teeth that they keep repeating it. Joke’s over, Fox. This group may have once been the most talented, but they’ve been hyped up so much that they can’t help but to fall short of the bar set by the marketing campaign.
Because this post is dated (I was out a television as I upgraded to HD last week), I’m going to sum up the losers’ performances.
Ladies first. Alexandrea Lushington was the first lady to get the (ankle) boot on Thursday night. Not only was Alexandrea’s singing of "If You Leave Me Now" bad, I couldn’t help but notice her wardrobe. She was dressed like a dude on Venice beach, capped off with those ankle boots that I can’t quite wrap my head around. They look like weird cleats. Alexandrea is an attractive young lady, so I can’t figure out for the life of me why she wore cargo shorts, multiple layered shirts, and hoodie vest. Her song was slow and drab, and it’s no wonder why she got sent home.
Alaina Whitaker, the youngster from Tulsa who doesn’t like the food on her plate to touch, sang “Hopelessly Devoted to You.” She was off the entire time, and it really became tough to watch. Again, if it is that easy for me to recognize how off pitch you are, you know you suck. Paula couldn’t even muster anything positive about the performance, only pointing out how “young but mature” Alaina is. As Seacrest delivered the bad news to Alaina, she said that she couldn’t sing her exit song, but after some delay, and the help of the other Idol girls, we got to hear why she got the voted off in the first place—for the second time.
On the guys’ side, Jason Yeager was first to leave, after singing the Doobie Brothers. There really wasn’t one redeeming thing about his performance, and he capped it off with an awkward fist pump that was meant to be in synch with the band, but it wasn’t even close. It really was so god awful I don’t even know what to say. Simon just crushed him at the end, saying “the simple truth is last week was boring and this week was awkward and ordinary.” Really the only surprise here was that he didn’t get sent home a week earlier.
I thought the shock of the week was the departure of Robbie Carrico, whose 6 bandanas worn during the show came well under my prediction of 21 (obviously, I thought he’d be around longer). I didn’t think his performance was special—he gave a very karaoke version of “Hot Blooded”—but I really believed he would have stuck around longer as the ‘rocker,’ despite Randy and Simon grilling him for being unauthentic. In the end, perhaps he was unauthentic, as rumors began to swirl about whether or not he wore a wig.
And then there were 16. Surely there is a way we can speed this up. I don’t know, maybe the producers could eliminate contestants who threaten to tarnish the squeaky clean reputation of the show? I’m just saying. Until then, tune in tonight for the top 8 guys