Thursday, February 26, 2009

One Tree Hill, v. 7

I wrote about my fascination with the absurd CW series One Tree Hill here. Now comes word that the show has been renewed for a seventh season, which means that Lucas, Peyton, and the gang will be around for 22 more episodes of emo-filled, badly soundtracked, life lessons and that none of them will be able to get too far away from thew teat that is their nondescript North Carolina hometown.

What can we expect from a seventh season? (Come on fans, you know what I'm talking about)

1. Lucas will brood and suffer a crisis about his marriage to Peyton.
2. Nathan will continue to want to play in the NBA and will keep not making it.
3. Brooke, despite no visible means of support, will spend all her time designing clothes, being a foster mother to a surly teenage girl, and sketching fashion designs.
4. The impending film-within-a-show to be made from Lucas's bovel will cause problems.
5. Lucas and Nathan's father Dan will still be dying from the slowest failing heart in TV history.
6. The faux-film's director (played by a brilliantly cast James VanderBeek) will sleep with one of the female leads.
7. Lucas will get a buzz cut.

Is the CW's reliance on older shows killing the network? Ok, you can all get back to your shame-free lives.

(also posted at Mostly Movies)

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